July 6, 2010 · 00:34:36
When addictions are powerful, and an abusive past is pulling you down, you need your Higher partner"The Torah differentiates between two categories of husband: an arus, a betrothed husband, and a baal, a full husband. Under Torah law, marriage consists of two distinct stages. First is the betrothal (erusin), by which the bride becomes ""forbidden to the rest of the world."" From this point on, for another man to have relations with her is tantamount to adultery, and to dissolve the betrothal requires a get (writ of divorce), as for a full-fledged marriage. The betrothal, however, only establishes the prohibitive side of marriage (the exclusion of all other men from the relationship), but not the substance of the relationship itself—the two still cannot live together as man and wife. This is achieved through the second stage of marriage, the nissu'in, which renders man and wife "one flesh." In the 30th chapter of Numbers, the Torah discusses the laws of the annulment of vows. If a married woman makes a vow (“I promise I will not eat meat”), her husband has the authority to veto it, and declare his wife's vows null and void. In Biblical and Talmudic times, the eirusin and the nissu'in were held on two separate occasions, so that for a certain period of time (usually a year) the bride and groom were bound by the prohibitions of marriage but had not yet begun their actual life together. In this period, the groom is called an arus, and only following the nissu'in