May 6, 2019 · 00:03:38
I hope that everyone had an uplifting Pesach. We’re now continuing Mishlei, Perek 15 which contains 33 pessukim. The perek opens with the words “Ma’aneh rach yashiv cheima, u’dvar etzev ya’aleh aph - A gentle reply turns away wrath, but a sharp word incites anger.” The Rabbenu Yonah explains that Shlomo Hamelech teaches here that we need to train ourselves to speak softly to others. Psychologically speaking, beyond hearing actual spoken words, people are listening to the feelings and tones behind them. The same words can be said angrily or with soft feelings. This is what really makes the difference in being able to influence other people and to get your message heard. As the old expression goes, “It's not what you say, it's how you say it.” Therefore, Shlomo Hamelech was saying, when your soft, calm words have the ability to diffuse upset feelings. The same words spoken in a fit of anger feeds the fire, and the listener becomes even more upset. The perek continues to list the virtues of using words to speak truth and build people up in contrast to spreading negativity, cynicism, and complaints. The words of the wise spread knowledge. A person who seeks truth enjoys constructive criticism, while a person filled with complaints hates rebuke. Passuk 13 says, “Lev sameach yeitiv panim, u’va’atzvut lev ruach n’cheiya - A glad heart cheers the face, but a despondent heart causes a broken spirit.” The Radak explains that the happiness in a person's heart is apparent, radiating on h