15 - Overcoming Revenge

At times by speaking Lashon Hara, the speaker could be transgressing the prohibition of "bearing a grudge and taking revenge". This would occur in a case in which the speaker felt harmed or hurt from another. Originally he would harbor it in his heart until an opportunity presents itself to get the offender back, in this example by ruining his reputation. The perspective toward overcoming the desire to take revenge comes from an awareness that every pain or insult from another person was really tailor made from Hashem for me because it was decided this is the exact difficulty that's necessary for me to fulfill my mission and reach my potential. The main point is recognizing that no other person has the ability to harm me unless it was decided by Hashem we need it. Very often we need this hurt to help get us back on track to better ourselves. Chofetz Chaim, Introduction (Lavin) וְלִפְעָמִים שֶׁהַמְסַפֵּר עוֹבֵר גַּם כֵּן (ח-ט) עַל לָאו (ויקרא י"ט י"ח) דְּ''לֹא תִקֹם וְלֹא תִטֹר'', כְּגוֹן שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ שִׂנְאָה עָלָיו עַל דָּבָר, שֶׁבִּקֵשׁ מִמֶנּוּ לַעֲשׂוֹת לוֹ טוֹבָה בִּדְבַר שְׁאִילַת מָמוֹן וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּזֶה (כְּמו שׁכָּתַבתִּי בִּבְאֵר מַיִם חַיִּים, בְּשֵׁם הָרְאֵ''ם) וְלֹא הֵיטִיבוֹ, וַעֲבוּר זֶה נוֹטֵר לוֹ שִׂנְאָה בְּלִבּוֹ, וּכְשֶׁרוֹאֶה אַחַר כָּךְ עָלָיו שׁוּם דְּבַר גְּנַאי, מְפַרְסְמוֹ בִּפְנֵי אֲנָשִׁים. וְהוּא עוֹבֵר מִתְּחִלָּה עַל הַנְּטִירָה שֶׁבַּלֵּב, עַל לָאו דְּ''לֹא תִטֹר", וְאַחַר כָּךְ כְּשֶׁנּוֹקֵם מִמֶנּוּ, וְסִפֵּר עָלָיו עֲבוּר זֶה הַדִּבְרֵי גְּ